Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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