and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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