I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
