I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
