This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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