FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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