Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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