I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
