yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
