so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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