Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
