He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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