I have demons in me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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