is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
