So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Houston, we have a blender
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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