I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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