the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
