Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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