How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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