Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
