She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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