so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
