Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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