She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
