If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've blown a few things in my day
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
