ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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