I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
