Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
