Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
