i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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