she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.