this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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