who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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