If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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