Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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