He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
