some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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