I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
