I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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