Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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