went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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