I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
