We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
