ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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