I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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