well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he puts the penis in happiness.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
