Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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