D3 body, D1 cock
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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