69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
