I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
operation harelip BJ is a go
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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