That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
