I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
