marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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