So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
