it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
