wrigley field is MILF paradise
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
