she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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