remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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