Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
