Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
