Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
