Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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