Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
